“Bikepacking couple” is a dream goal for many of us who are passionate about this weird sport. Who wouldn’t want to share the highs and lows of bike adventures with their special person?
Regular readers of this site might think I live a dream bikepacking couple life. It’s partially true and I really am fortunate. My husband and I have shared incredible trips in Central Asia, Morocco and Portugal, Baja, and part of the Great Divide, among others.
Before all that though, I bikepacked and toured alone for over 10,000 miles because he didn’t want to join me. He was busy with a career he loved, and though he supported me going solo I don’t think he really understood why the bikepacking bug bit me so hard.
It took a few years and a couple false starts, but eventually we figured out how to bikepack together in a way we both enjoy. It’s distinctly different from my solo trips, not better or worse, just different. These days I’m still the bikepacking initiator and planner, but he (I don’t think I’m putting words in his mouth here) gets value from our trips too.
This post shares 12 tips for successful shared trips based on our experience bikepacking as a couple. I hope our hard-earned advice helps you co-create a special trip with your special person.
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No Pressure
Bikepacking can be really fun, and also really tough. The last thing you need when things get hairy is a dynamic of “this was YOUR idea, I didn’t want to be here anyway.”
So don’t pressure your partner! If they don’t want to go, be patient. They may change their mind, or they may not, but having a riding partner who doesn’t want to be there is definitely not a recipe for success.
Understand Each Other’s Worries
We all have fears related to bikepacking, and they can pop up at inconvenient times and even alter the course of a trip. In my opinion it’s better to talk through them in advance than discover them under stressful circumstances.
Do you know what your partner is most worried about? Animals, people, motor vehicles, mechanical failures, noises outside the tent at night, running out of food, being too cold, pooping in the woods?
When people have different preferences for how to structure a bike trip — where to go, how to camp, how much planning to do or not do — I’ve found it often stems from different fears. Each person may think the other’s fears are less rational than their own, making joint decisions difficult and emotionally charged.
The most common stereotype is a partner, usually a wife or girlfriend (don’t get me started on how much I hate this gendered dynamic) who is scared of physical or mental challenge. While this may be true and perfectly valid in some cases, don’t jump to conclusions.
In my husband’s case he is very capable of bikepacking; we’ve been tackling tough adventures together for the better part of 15 years. His issue is the opportunity cost. He has a shorter “bike attention span” than I do, and less free time. He prefers fast-paced sports and doesn’t enjoy the slow rhythm of self-powered travel as much as I do. I guess you could say his fear is getting bored or wasting time he could be spending doing something he loves more.
This was hard for me to accept at first, because he and I are similar in many other ways. How could he not enjoy this incredible awesomeness as much as I do? He must not know what he’s missing.
But once I committed to seeing his perspective as equally valid, it helped us come up with trip ideas we would both enjoy. Which brings me to…
Broaden Your Definition of Bikepacking
I’ve dabbled in a bunch of different bike travel styles, from international touring to rugged remote bikepacking. They come with very different vibes. In my experience it helps to pick a style that appeals at least somewhat to both of you, even if it’s no one’s first choice.
Choosing a style is about tradeoffs: nature vs. civilization, relaxation vs. challenge, time vs. money, etc. If your partner doesn’t like riding with traffic, try remote forest roads. If they like a bit more variety and mental stimulation, try a more populated area. If they aren’t into sleeping in the dirt, try (gasp!) credit card touring.
In the end there’s nothing very rational about anyone’s bikepacking preferences. We each get bitten by the bug in slightly different ways and it’s our own enthusiasm that makes our choices the correct ones. For me it’s more important to go and have a good time than to insist on exactly the style I prefer.
Incorporate Non-Bike Activities You Both Enjoy
One of our biggest keys to success has been learning to embrace side trips, zero days, and hybrid travel. What does your partner like to do, and how can you incorporate it into a bike trip? Take it as a fun challenge.
Maybe it’s a chill day of reading by an alpine lake, or a side trip to a museum. Maybe it’s a route with some good food along the way (we all get tired of instant ramen eventually), or the chance to practice a foreign language they learned in school.
My husband likes surfing and beaches. Our most successful (read: mutually enjoyable) trip was the Cape Loop in Baja where we rode from beach town to beach town, taking a zero day at each for surfing and snorkeling.
Our two month trip in Morocco and Portugal was also a delicate compromise. Bikepacking the Route of the Caravans was my choice, kiteboarding lessons in Western Sahara was his choice, as was the leisurely pedal up Portugal’s coastline. We used buses where needed to connect them all within a mutually agreeable trip length.
Do we share the same favorite parts of that trip? Definitely not! I thought Portugal was a bit boring and unpleasant in some ways, and he thought the same about Morocco. Kiteboarding is definitely NOT my new favorite sport (he loved it). But we both have favorite parts from the trip overall, and that’s what matters most.
Support Each Other’s Gear and Bike Choices
We bikepackers can develop strong opinions about gear and bikes, and it’s tempting to play expert if your partner has less experience. But I think most people enjoy riding more when they feel invested in, and connected to, their trusty steed and gear choices.
Our bikepacking relationship improved dramatically when my husband chose his Pinion bike after a couple spectacular mechanical failures of his standard drivetrain. I was nervous about it at first – it’s unfamiliar to me and I can’t help fix it if it breaks – but he loves it and now he’s invested in riding it.
On the other hand, gear and bikes are expensive and many people won’t want to spend money on them if the bikepacking bug hasn’t bitten them yet. In that case, follow the classic advice “the best bikepacking bike is the one you already have” and use budget-friendly gear ideas to get out on those early trips together.
Use Separate Navigation Systems
If this one seems suspiciously specific and personal, that’s because it is! Unless both people ride at exactly the same pace, which is rare in my experience, I highly recommend you each use your own navigation system.
It could be a smartphone or GPS device or one of each, but I suggest you each have one mounted on your bars so you can make navigation decisions on the fly without needing to meet up at every turn.
Regrouping often can interrupt the flow and cause frustration for the person riding ahead. Meanwhile the person riding behind worries about getting lost if the person ahead forgets to stop at a key junction.
This particular issue caused weeks of mutual irritation for us on the navigation-heavy EuroVelo 1 in Portugal. Now we never attempt a trip without separate nav systems.
Take a 3 Person Tent
For any trip over a few days long, the extra space is worth it!
We’re generally pretty light packers. When BACKpacking we use a two person tarp, even for multi-week thru hikes.
But for bike trips, unless we’re trying to go really fast and light, we love our freestanding 3-person Big Agnes Copper Spur. The extra weight is hardly noticeable on wheels, and the extra space goes a long way toward maintaining harmony while sharing a cramped space for weeks or months.
Speaking of sleep arrangements, I’ll throw in here that I’m not a fan of zip-together sleeping bags. He sleeps warm and I sleep cold so we thought it might work for us, but it turned out to be even colder for me (it’s impossible to fully cinch a shared bag around your head) and it’s easier to disturb each other with tossing and turning. Individual sleeping quilts for us!
Talk About The Length of Your Bond
Imagine you and your partner have an invisible elastic cord between you. How far does that cord stretch?
A lot of couples try to ride side-by-side, which can be great if you naturally ride at a similar pace. But bikepack together for long enough and I daresay at some point you’ll want a little space. At times in every trip I desperately crave “me time” to zone out for an hour or two without stopping or talking.
Other times (grizzly country, urban areas) I sometimes feel nervous and get a little testy if we drift apart. It’s especially rough to fall behind when you’re feeling on edge while your partner rides merrily off ahead, oblivious (see section on fears above).
For couples who don’t naturally ride at the same pace, the difference can be surprisingly frustrating. Always bringing up the rear is enough to make anyone feel a little sensitive. Though it may sound easy for the faster person to just slow down and match their partner’s pace, we all have a pace that’s most comfortable. Constantly remembering to ride slower can be a cognitive load and flow state destroyer.
With a significant other, as with any riding buddy, I find it’s best to discuss these expectations often. Tell them if you want to ride closer or farther apart, and compromise or trade off as needed.
Share Daily Chores Equitably (Including Mental Load)
Just like at home, hopefully, you both pitch in with the daily chores. Some bikepacking partners do best with a clear division of labor, for example one person always pitches the tent while the other starts dinner.
We’ve found success with a more fluid arrangement where we sometimes swap tasks or pick up the slack for each other on rough days. This way any unpleasant tasks get shared more equally and we don’t take each others’ contributions for granted.
On more involved trips we’ve realized “chores” go beyond simple camp tasks. Maybe one person is always in charge of negotiating and paying for things, trying to communicate in a foreign language, planning the next day’s route, dealing with bike issues, taking pictures, remembering to restock on toilet paper when in town, or keeping track of what’s left in the food bag for dinner.
These all contribute to “mental load” and can be easy to take for granted when your partner is always the one doing it. Try switching it up so you both build more skills and stave off any resentment.
Embrace the Shared Journey
I enjoyed the freedom and autonomy of solo bikepacking for a long time before bikepacking as a couple. This helped me appreciate the companionship even more, but in some ways it also made me a bad riding partner at first.
On our early trips together I often took the positive for granted and focused on the negative. “If I were alone I could…” (ride faster/slower, stop more/less often, stop worrying about his bike, etc…). Something as simple as being ready to leave camp at slightly different times was an annoyance.
Eventually we shared enough experiences on the road that I came to appreciate the uniqueness of a shared journey. It’s not a solo trip with partner along, it’s a co-created experience. There’s no sense comparing it to “if I were solo” because everything would be different. Not necessarily better or worse, just different.
Keep Communication Lines Open
There’s something about the minimalism of pedaling all day that magnifies emotions. Remove distractions, add physical fatigue and a dash of hangriness, spice it up with some bad weather, and you have a recipe for overreactions and arguments.
I’ve found the best way to keep things from boiling over is to talk openly and often, rather than letting bad feelings fester and grow with every pedal stroke. Which brings me to my last point…
Keep It Positive and Kind, Especially When It’s Hard
Fighting always sucks, but fighting on a bikepacking trip is an extra-big bummer. The best way to avoid it, in our experience, is to work extra hard at being supportive and positive. Give each other grace, kindness, and lots of positive energy.
Remember you’re on the same team. Be there for the other person when they’re having a tough day, just like you hope they’ll be there for you when it’s your turn. Success is measured by your combined progress and happiness.
After 15 years together you’d think we’d have all this down, on the road and at home, but we still work at it. Hopefully the practice we get in the microcosm of bikepacking makes us better partners in general.
Win win, and yet another important benefit of bikepacking you can mention to your partner if they aren’t quite sold yet. :)
More Bikepacking Resources
If you enjoyed this post, you might also like these:
- Where to Find Bikepacking Buddies Online and In Person
- Bikepacking Pace Calculator: How Long Will That Route Take YOU?
- Blackburn Outpost vs. Salsa Anything: Battle of the Cargo Cages
Or visit the bikepacking homepage for lots more.
About the Author
Hi there, I’m Alissa, founder of Exploring Wild. I’ve traveled over 20,000 miles by bike and still can’t stop planning my next ride (and helping you plan yours). Pavement and panniers or singletrack and seat bag, I love it all. On my bike I feel free. Learn more about me here.
Bikepackers: Join me on Patreon for my most current and personal writing, individualized trip prep help, and a community of likeminded supporters.
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My wife and I have been bikepacking, hiking, rock climbing and mountaineering together for over three decades, and we’ve had our share of difficulties. This is a great list to work from, especially that last point. Bikepacking, like mountaineering, is at times very, very hard. When you get stressed physically and emotionally, it’s easy to let out our bad, impatient, argumentative sides. Fight that impulsive reaction. Deep breathing, thinking twice before speaking, letting the little things go is vitally important. Sometimes it feels like I have to relearn it on every hard ride.
Thanks Scott. Mountaineering and climbing! Yes, very hard and also potentially high-consequence, so all the more important to work together and keep emotions in check. Good for you two, and best wishes.